“For it all to change in a blink of an eye is a scary thing” (Part 9)


Felling like the epitome of a fitness professional, I used to gaze over the mountains on a day when the sun graced us with its’ presence. I could not be more on top of the world with the way my life was going. Talk of pattering feet, direction for our weary minds and a fire in our bellies; myself and the girl I loved were writing our future chapter in our minds. Devoid from this talk though, I was about to learn a valuable life lesson. For what could challenge a mans strength more than the thought of an uncertain future. For you see I furthered my knowledge from the follow on course, I was more competent than ever. Haven already taken on my first couple of clients I felt my life needed to move faster. I needed a new plan and I needed to do it now. “I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough. We must apply. Being willing is not enough. We must do.” — Leonardo da Vinci

After many failed attempts at ‘prepping’ for a bodybuilding competition I wanted to take the plunge. Although procrastination started to take over once more I got a message from the bodybuilding gods themselves. “Well I thought it was a message… that okay with you? Judgmental f£$%&er!” 🙂 I’d been offered a “ambassadorship” with an up and coming clothing company in the states, started by an influential bodybuilder. You’ll understand the reason for the quotes in a minute. At the same time I was offered a sponsorship with a very googalable supplement company. It was the kick start I needed to hit the ground running. I knew I would be judged by other people. Did I care? Yes… a little. But hey… i’m only human at the end of the day. It’s inbred into human nature not to want to segregate yourself from the herd. Modern day social suicide was on the rise anyway. Friends only posting about what they loved to do as a hobby. Others having their baps out for the world to see. People losing friends over political and social views. Yes, we were in the era where we are judged by every online movement we present with our personas’; presence or lack thereof. “Sure if everyone is doing it.”

Wanting to flagship my journey on Instagram, this was the source of the clothing company. I was promised the best apparel, knowledge, guidance, the sun, the moon, the stars and a few more unfathomable things. After an initial acceptance to the team, via Instagram, I felt like a member of a team. My emails being replied to, my first shipment of apparel arriving and a feeling of acceptance. Although this was short lived; as the team grew to plenty. I felt once more alone in what I was trying to achieve. I had just started my YouTube vlog (I might leave a link down bellow for your amusement) and I was receiving supplements. However, not the sought after advice from a professional bodybuilder.

“Let me just jump in here quick. We as fitness professionals should never attempt to convey that we know everything to do with health, fitness, every aspect of sports, or knowledge on ever supplement. If we don’t know something we will have to do the research and critically analyze it to see if it is applicable. Also a small piece of advice; if your trainer does go on like they know everything, without doing some form of research… then you need to find a new trainer asap. But for the purpose of this I was under time constraint, lack of knowledge and needed answers. To which none were provided. I was also told it would be a great idea to wear green, white and orange shorts… I know… Stop laughing.”

Nevertheless without the backing of my apparel company I was still continuing on with my documentation of my journey. This was, however, a long and arduous process. I found I was exploiting workouts to record my progress, feign editing knowledge to try and make something tangible for the people to watch. Jumping in with two feet to accept sponsorship. I thought this line of supplements were doing me the world of good. When in fact they were stagnating my progress with each passing day. “Was I destined to not succeed in the bodybuilding world?”, I contemplated. Alas with a little more research and the gumption to suck it up and procure a prep coach, we decided to drop the supplements. This was a bit more of a battle with my mind than I was ready for. No one likes change… it felt like I was moving backwards instead of forwards at making a drop in the pond. Gratefully though this was it… I finally committed to what I wanted to do for so long. Since the moment I told my partner on our first date to impress her; as to also stimulate the drive in me. I was going to be a bodybuilder and I had no idea what was to come.

The YouTube channel was going well and people were interested, but it was not sustainable to keep going. I was still working, taking classes, doing personal training, my own training, a son, a partner and a new home to be the man of. Maybe for a seasoned veteran trainer who was well established and could outsource a lot of his classes or did none in fact, only trained people; but not for the new guy on the block. I was getting busier and busier in work; any trainer worth his salt will know how mentally exhausting this is. Where would… let me rephrase that… where should my focus be on at this time? Documentation is a very useful tool to keep people on track but when it doesn’t fall in line where you want to go in life; be it relationships, work, your hobbies… then it is time to take a little look and reevaluate the situation. Uncertainty drowned me from my gut to my brain. Thinking I knew where I was going and for it all to change in a blink of an eye is a scary thing; even if it is for the better.

I’ll leave you with this, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

To be continued…

Cringable YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk-EDKzp3gY7uzyAanBDjLQ 



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